Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Things that make me MAD!

OK, so I was tagged . . . but I am not big on those things, so I will not play by the rules.I will, however, explain a few things that really bug me. I think I had a bad day yesterday with salesman, telemarketers, and MLM "friends". I need a "spill my guts" therapy session, and you are now my doctor. Anyway, here we go . . . things that really tick me off. 5 . . .4 . . .3 . . .2 . . .1

1. Used Car Salesman / Realtors: I hate being backed into a corner. I hate pu
shy people who try to be my friend. That said, do not try to lecture my on what a good deal is and what is best for my family. Do not treat me like I am an idiot and that my Masters of Accountancy knowledge of finance and accounting does not apply in this situation. The only reason that I HAVE TO make a deal today is because you want your commission, slime bag. The real estate "bottom" has not hit yet (yes, you also said that 6 months ago, and a year ago).


2. Forwarded Emails: Please – no one is going to give you $50 for each person you forward your email to. Nothing will really happen if you do not forward the magic fairy that will grant your wish. Also, if you do have something great to forward, take the time to delete the crap above and below the email so that I do not have to wade through 65 pages of email addresses before I get to the pot of poo at the end of the rainbow that was supposed to be gold.

On that point, ever wonder how people get your email address and send you slimy spam? Yep, you guessed it. People who forward emails in this way also give a great list to spammers of emailers who will open everything in their inbox and forward it to everyone in their address book even though it is completely ridiculous/untrue. P.S. go to snopes.com to first make sure that the claim that your forward is true. Otherwise, it is just internet gossip / lies. I didn't poop on your doorstep, so please do not do the equivalent to my inbox.


3. Multi-Level "Friends": Last night we had some "friends" (are you really a friend if use your friendship to further your business?) come by to see us and tell us about the cool business that they were in. Little did we know (I should have known, we are in Utah Cty, the MLM capital of the world), but we were about to sit in on a "life changing experience".


The wife sat down and tried to explain to me the reasons why Dana and I were not millionaires. She explained that there were 4 types of ways to make money, and that we were on the side of those who do not make lots of money because we made the poor choice of going to college and were channeled into being a slave for a corporation. The big bucks, according to her, were made by big business owners and investors (um, yeah . . . I am an investor . . . .but carry on wit
h your pointless drivel).


They were so excited to get us into this business where we buy our products online, and that if we got people below us to do the same and have multiple "downlines", that we would be rolling in the dough. . . She saidit was about making good choices, and it was the poor choices that we made that got us into our impoverished state (this is where I started getting REALLY pissed), and that choosing to network with these uber-intelligent people that I would be driving a Ferrari and living the high life.


Here's where it gets even better! We get a knock at the door from their superior "Jake" that they had been talking about. How he was going to become a doctor and had quit school to make money the real way. Jake took trips to extravagant places, drove a nice car, and was "someone I should look up to." He came in all happy and pretended to care about what was going on in my life. He explained that Dana and I "looked like a hard-working, motivated couple" tha
t could make a lot of money if we "made better choices." What am I . . . some deadbeat HS dropout?


After his spastic, giddy presentation on why he was rich and I was not, he asked us what we wanted in life. My answers about going on a mission, gaining education, etc was not good enough. He told me that although fancy cars were not really important to me, that I would soon find out that the high life was a much better lifestyle and that I was missing out. 15 mins later, he left to go to another appointment, saying, "Thanks NICK, I hope you make the best decision for your family." (Come on . . . if you are not sure about my name, use the usual bailouts - "buddy", "partner", "pal", or even the pathetic - "buckaroo".


We then were left two on two with our great "friends" (dripping with sarcasm BTW). "What do you think?" We then explained that we liked our life and jobs, we felt that we had made good choices, and that a MLM sales career where we preyed on our friends was not our life's dream. They seemed hurt at my blunt answer, tried to small talk, but soon gracefully left.


NOTE: Yes, I HATE MLMs and if you read this and ever want to introduce me to your great pyramid idea, please save me and you the time and pain. I WILL NOT EVER, EVER, EVER sign up for such a business. I would much rather be caught in a combine or have a red hot poker jabbed into both of my eyes. And if you decide to give it a try, don't be surprised when we do not call ever you again or even send a Christmas card.


Thanks for letting me rant and rave . . . I feel better!

6 comments:

Darcy said...

Hahahaha... nice, NICK.

Brooke said...

I totally agree.

ThePalmers said...

Thank you- that was extremely entertaining!

Andrea Cutler said...

Johnny you are hilarious, I really love the MLM part. We have had a few of those encounters! Say hi to the fam.

Misty said...

AHH come on Nick, oh I mean John, tell us how you really feel! LOL The nerve of some people, huh! We had "friends" like that in Rock Springs! Not fun!

Brandon and Emily said...

Hey guys!!! Its a good thing I read this blog before I called you. I too dropped out of medical school to live the life of a MLM. In fact, I DO think you made the WRONG choices in furthering your education, and obtaining skills that will help you throughout your life. The MLM program I'm with involves a pyramid of who you're gonna live with when your money is ALL gone because your other pyramid scheme didn't work out. It starts with the in-laws then goes through parents and siblings. Its a great plan!! I had to laugh at your post John! It was a total crackup, and so true. Nicely put. Anyway I'll meet up with you at the next BYU game and we'll discuss my plan further.... and I was just kidding about dropping out of school